The four stages of revision go something like this: first there’s the ‘good intentions’: you buy highlighters, you make a revision schedule which you proudly pin to your notice board, you sit down to begin working. However, this is when the denial sets in. You procrastinate, you procrastibake, and scroll endlessly on buzzfeed (who knew a quiz to find out which inanimate object you’d be could be so fascinating?). Slowly and surely the denial turns sour, and the third stage sets in; you’re into the panic. You find yourself rushing around the library, or anxiously eating toast in your kitchen. The final stage I like to call ‘all of the work, while crying’: you face up to your demons, and complete a drastically reduced version of the ‘revision plan’ that your youthful and idealistic former self created in ‘stage one’.
Here at Culture we’d like to help you out. Here’s our guide to help ease the pain of each stage.
1) In the glory days of ‘good intentions’ you want to buy lots of pretty pens. Culture recommends bypassing Paperchase (so overpriced) and going to Pound Stretcher. It’s also near the library, so you’re pretty much working already.
2) You probably don’t need help with this stage. However, in celebration of Shakespeare’s 450th birthday, the Guardian has created ‘Beat the Bard’, in which Shakespeare’s characters fight it out. This is particularly fantastic if you’re studying English, as you can lie to yourself about how much you’re getting done.*
3) In ‘blind panic’, you might need something calming to stop you from running aimlessly around the Meadows. We recommend butdoesitfloat.com, which is both cultural and aesthetically pleasing.
4) In ‘all of the work while crying’ you still need to take a few breaks. We recommend listening to old episodes of In Our Time on Radio Four. There’s something for every subject, so you feel like you’re working even if you’re just drinking tea with your flatmate (again).
*Soz for introducing you to another procrastination tool, if all else fails install the SelfControl app (selfcontrolapp.com/), which allows you to block websites for however long you deem necessary.
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